six weeks
by aviry nolane
Summary: a six week sabattical my be just what they need...


Author: Aviry Nolane  
Feedback: (please! feedback! i'm starving!)  
Classification: ehh... i'm writing. , humor, angst, story.  
Rating: et's shoot for PG-13 so I feel important.  
Spoilers: none. just a happy piece of fluffy goodness.  
Archiving: as long as I'm attached and you give me some feedback, anywhere  
is fine.  
Disclaimer: *cough* well... my birthday IS eight months away, so feel free  
to buy me david from carter. I wouldn't mind gillian either - but they're  
really a matching set. they're not mine, but if carter had a soul they would be. i have NO money so don't bother suing.  
Summary: happy go lucky fluffness.

**SIX WEEKS**

Sometimes I just don't understand him. Sometimes I don't understand this partnership between us that influences this thing inside of me to grow, which generally amounts to me putting up with more of his crap. I swear this is the very last time I do this to myself. The last time that I track him down and the last time that I sit in this hospital lobby and stare at these damn glossy yellow countertops designed to ease my dimming mind. This is the last time I get so damned upset when he disappears. I make note of the fact that I have had this conversation with myself several times and I hate myself for it.

I stand up rigidly and run my sweating palms down the seams of my traditional Scully wear pants. My hands then somehow work upward and entangle themselves in my hair as I pace the room.  
No more, I decide. I'm going in now. I start my way to the door. Before I reach it, it opens before me, the dull orange hospital light revealing the silhouetted figure of my boss, Ronald Skinner. Skinner looks at me in my shaken state, and I think he knows imidiantly what I am feeling.

"Sit."

I sit. My hands don't seem to be able to lie still, and I find myself absently running them down the seams of my pants again. I look up to see Skinner staring at me in a very fatherly way; he looks me down as if I was a small child misbehaving in bible study. I stop. He folds his hands onto his lap, and I do the same.

"This isn't the last time." His eyebrows rise, and I see my own stubborn disposition reflected back at me through him. Somehow I feel as if he is asking me something.

"I know that, Sir." I stammer, quite professionally, not knowing quite what the question or the answer should be.

He raises his hand to silence me. I am silenced.

"Agent Scully," his voice is strong, but soft and caring as he continues, slowly, for my benefit I suppose. "This will not be the last time. The time after will not be the last time." He stops and looks at me expectantly.

"I know that Sir." I pause, uncertain. What does he want? "There have been many times before, Sir."

"Are you prepared Agent Scully?"

"Prepared Sir?" My voice cracks and I feel like a young child being scolded. My hands begin to twitch nervously again, and I fight to hold them at bay.

"Agent Mulder is a very- original person, Agent Scully."

"I realize that, Sir, he is my partner-"

His eyebrows rise again. I pause. "Agent Mulder is a very difficult man. It is difficult to- become close to Agent Mulder. He does not feel the effects of his- untimely... accidents - that he may or may not cast onto others." He looks relieved to have danced around his questioning so well. "Do you know what I am talking about, Agent Scully?"

"Why, Sir, I think you may have gotten a- different perception of our relationship than-"

My sentence is broken off abruptly by the entrance of a blond nurse who looked to be around the age of twenty, a very developed twenty. Still, I am incredibly happy to see her.

"Miss Scully?" I nod, "Well then ma'am, you come on and follow me and we'll go see the patient now." She chirps, smiling a broad, toothy grin. She clasps her hands together and gestures to me to follow her. I jolt to attention and start for the door.

"Send Mulder my very best regards if you will." Skinner says, standing upright slowly from the archaic cushioned brown armchair, and straightening his tie. I nod.

"Yes, Sir, of course." I turn to follow the shapely nurse down the achingly bright hall. We stop towards the end of the hallway at room 461. She pokes her head into the room with a slight bob and flashes a quirky grin I don't need to see to know exists. She raises her hand to wave and says brightly, "I brought you a visitor, Sugar." She smiles back at me and nearly pushes me into the room.

"Bye now." She giggles, and with that, she is gone.

My heels click on the smooth white tile of the hospital room as I make my way to Mulder's bed where he sits upright in his hospital gown, smiling. I decide to give him something to smile about.

"Hi, Sugar." I can tell he enjoyed that as his face widens.

"Well hello and howdy, little lady" he responds. I think to myself about the slight resemblance of character between Mulder and John Wayne but I don't say anything and I don't think I smiled. Obviously Mulder didn't expect me to, and he continues. "You know I could get used to it in here. All I'd have to do is get the management to acquire the proper help and I'd be set." He pauses as if a light has suddenly lit in his head. "Say, Scully what would it take to get you into Bambi's uniform anyway?"

I raise my eyebrow at him quizzically. "Drunk. Very drunk, which isn't very probable anyway."

"And - " I add. "And it seems to me that you are quite used to this routine already considering the way this place is practically a second home to you." His smile somehow widens and I feel elated. My eyebrow gains height and I sigh openly. "Oh Mulder, her name is Bambi?" I look to the door nervously as he smiles wider. I wish he would stop looking so happy, I'm supposed to be mad at him. My eyes flutter closed as all the mean things I should be saying to him run through my mind. He sighs and I'm alert once again.

"Scully." He looks concerned. "You didn't sleep, Scully." I can tell he is disappointed in me.

"I was worried, Mulder." I look back from the door and my eyes meet his. I can't help telling him what I am thinking. "I was worried about you, and I couldn't stop moving long enough to sleep." He smiles at me again.

"I can see it now, Scully in her Agent mode and everything." He leans against the mound of pillows and then pulls up to look at me. "You need sleep."

I sigh, "I'll sleep later, okay?" I stop to think. "Some people such as myself have time to sleep when not off trying to get ourselves killed, such as other people in this room." I could feel my eyebrow beginning it's assent.

Mulder looks at me questioningly. "Even the type such as yourself need sleep when they are not chasing after their nutty partners."  
I sigh, feeling my fatigue for the first time. "Listen Mulder, I'll sleep later when I-"

"Sit."

This command thing is getting annoying.

"Why?"

"Just sit."

"What if I-"

"Now."

I sink into the bedside chair made of brown material and layers of soft fluff. I scoot it even nearer to his bed and look into his silent eyes as if I am walking on glass. I tiptoe across my words as he lifts my hand and holds it loosely in his own.

"I'm not going home."

"I know."

"You can't make me."

"I know."

"I don't want to leave you."

"I know."

I stop, knowing I have run out of strength, and Mulder has still not let go of my hand. I looked up tiredly to the bed and saw Mulder's smile.

"You are crazy, Mulder."

"Am I?"

"Yes."

"How so?"

"Your job consists of chasing after little green men and UFOs. How is that not crazy?" I sigh.

"I have you, don't I?"

"Yes."

"Well you're just as crazy then, maybe even more so for putting up with me."

"Maybe, but what if I do it out of pity?" I pause. "What then?"

I notice that I had been holding our gaze for a long time now. My eyes drop from his to our still linked hands. His hands are very warm.

"I don't think you do anything out of pity, Agent Scully."

"Really Agent Mulder?" My eyes still focusing on our hands, I take a deep breath and then look back to his sandy, unshaven face. His gaze once again locked itself to mine. "He looks too serious" I think. "Why am I here then, Agent Fox Mulder?"

"I'm not sure, Agent Dana Scully. Just not sure." The seconds tick by as we just sit and a smile spreads over his face like a wave across a sandy beach. I note again that his hands are very warm.

"Um, Mulder?"

"Scully?"

"Sir?" A chirp quips across the room.

"Bambi." I think. Bambi's figure shuffles across the room from the hall and flips out the main light, leaving us only in the pool of lamplight from above.

"It's nighty-night time, Foxy!" She flashes the toothpaste commercial smile once more and then she turns, possibly on her way back to the plastic box from whence she came.

"All righty-righty." Mulder calls to her back as she bubbles out into the hall. I am suddenly not a Bambi fan.

"So that's a Bambi?" I ask and Mulder turns his eyes upon me again, but this time I am prepared. My skeptical smile is sculpted into place perfectly by now.

"Always my favorite Disney movie, Scully." He squints at me, "What was yours? Sleeping Scully? Scullerella? Oh, I know, Agent Scully and the seven little green men and UFOs." I am unfazed.

"None of the above, I was always a Pinocchio girl myself."

"Were you?" He asks, absentmindedly pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear. His hand lingers on my cheek for a moment, and I say, "I still am, to tell you the truth." He smiles and returns the hand to his side, the other hand still holding my own on his bed. He yawns.

"What do you say to the prospect of nighty-night time now Scully?"

I'm not sure, but I think I smile.

"Anything you say chief." I can feel myself slipping into sleep almost right away, and he reaches out to guide my head to the pillow near his shoulder.

"You nighty-night now, Scully." He commands, but I find that I don't mind obeying him. I laugh slightly, "Anything you say."

I pause, "hey Mulder."

"Yes?"

"You're not so bad to have around."

"Thanks Scully." He chuckles as the room begins to cloud around me and grows darker. "Goodnight." Mulder's voice echoes in my ears as my mind clears of all thoughts. I can feel his hands slip around my back and pull my head to his chest. His hand strokes my hair and I raise my hand to his chest as well. He breathes in deeply, and I am awake only long enough to hear the faint whisper above the strong beating of Mulder's heart. "I love you, Scully."

The response slips from my lips before I can think to stop it.

"I know, Mulder, I know"

And I think I hear the heart skip a beat before all is black.

- - - - -

_Dana Scully did not return to work Monday morning, and although Mulder had recovered from his earlier scrape, he did not return either. Scully sat motionlessly as she thought over the conversation with Skinner late Sunday night. _

_"The X-files have been suspended." As Skinner had put it, "for a six week period to my knowledge the X-files will not exist. We are being investigated by the Federal Board of Affiliates, and the higher board of the FBI found it necessary to suspend all X-file investigations until the board has concluded their inventory of all FBI operations."_

_She had looked to Mulder then, as Skinner had, and she felt his anger begin to boil. He sat, hunched over in the black leather chair with a vengeful look on his face. "I personally feel that the FBA would shut down your operations permanently if your activities are not-terminated willingly, for a brief time." _

_"So once again the FBI's black sheep are stuffed into the closet." Mulder said. "That's the way it always has to be, right Skinner?" _

_"Mulder." She had been angry with him then for a second, and he had apologized. _

_"I'm sorry, Sir I-"_

_"No need Agent Mulder. You're right, but it needs to be done."_

_Mulder had stood then, his fists clenched and nodded to Skinner before leaving the room. She had excused herself then and followed him, just as she always did, to comfort him. _

_Dana Scully shook her head now to clear away her thoughts. She pressed the pastel coffee mug to her lips left it there, staring over her knees at the world outside the kitchen window. The sun was rising lazily over the dark, heavy lidded buildings that crowded the city's horizon. She slowly dropped the mug down to her lap. "Six weeks." She thought. "What am I supposed to do for six weeks? I have no social life to speak of and I don't feel like starting one right now, so what am I to do?" The idea of a visit to her mother's house entered her thoughts then, and a smile crept to her lips. _

_"Mother would love to see me." She thought, "And there are plenty of old friends back home, why not?" _

_She was startled from her thoughts by a firm knock on the front door of her apartment. _

- - - - -

I shuffle to the door, still clad in my pajamas and peek out the eyepiece. "Who could it-who else?" I sigh as I pull open the door to a bedraggled Mulder and he steps inside quickly from the dawn's rays lighting my front steps like a vampire. He makes a beeline for the sofa, but when he reaches it he doesn't sit, and simply paces around it until I mockingly say, "Oh, Mulder! It's you, please do come in."

He flops on the couch now and I walk to face him, my hands perching on my hips. He looks up at me and I see how distraught he is.

"Six weeks Scully, six weeks."

"Six weeks Mulder." I reply evenly.

He sighs deeply. "I thought I heard right."

I slowly sink down to the floor at his feet now and out my hand on his knee. I try to catch his eye, but he is avoiding me by being very interested in my carpet and playing with his thumbs.

"What are we going to do Scully?" His voice is unstable and I realize again how much his job means to him. He isn't acting like Mulder anymore and I don't know what to do. Who am I talking to anyway? I place my coffee on the table to his side and raise my eyes up to meet his.

"I don't know Mulder."

"Me either."

I pause and think my words over carefully before I say anything. "Mulder, I was going to go see my mother for a few weeks to pass the time."

"A visit to Mrs. Scully?" He smiles.

"Would you like to come Mulder? She likes you more than anyone else I have ever brought home anyway." I say, patting his leg and smiling in an effort to cheer him up. What am I thinking?

He laughs and I know I've succeeded in my quest to produce a happy Mulder. "She does like me a lot, doesn't she?"

"She's practically in love with you herself Mulder, you're just lucky you're not twenty years older."

He laughs again and I feel much better. "Do you think she'd make a pass at me, Scully?"

"Would you make a pass at her?"

"Do you think I would?" His eyes pull mine to his and I am unable to look away somehow.

"I'm not sure, is she a Bambi?"

He doesn't speak for a moment. "You know Scully, I think your mother was probably a Bambi in her heyday, am I right or am I right?"

I'm not sure what he's getting at so I dodge the question. "Will you come with me Mulder? I don't want to leave you alone I don't want to be alone either." I don't know if he evades the answer on purpose or not but he looks down on me again and seems to notice for the first time that I am wearing flannel pants and a white t-shirt, not exactly my traditional Scully clothing.

"Hey Scully, you're on the floor."

I raise my eyebrow at him and he looks back innocently. We've fallen back into the routine again.

"Good job Mulder, you're finally able to state the obvious."

"You should probably get dressed before company comes over too, it's not polite to be- like you are."

"And you're an expert on intrapersonal relationships now?"

"The best." He smiles again, I wish he'd stop doing that, smiling and the whole looking at me thing, that too. For a minute our eyes lock again like they did on Friday night. Suddenly I can't speak and I find myself lost in Mulder's dark features. A feeling that I'm not used to begins to drift over me and I feel dizzy and grounded at the same time as his eyes begin to swallow me. I could spend all day staring into him and wondering what he is thinking, but suddenly I thought of the consequences of what could happen if one of us doesn't look away soon. Somehow I think that Mulder too would be content to stay as we are, and so I have to look away.

"Mulder-"

When I look back he looks ashamed and tries to look away. "He knows it was almost a mistake too." I think, and look for something to talk about. "I-I'm going to go change Mulder, I'll be right back." I don't leave much room for discussion and as I rise from the floor I can feel Mulder's attention focus in on me again. I turn back to him before I leave and try to lighten the mood. "Don't go chasing after any little green men while I'm gone either Mulder. I don't have time or energy to glue the your pieces back together tonight" When I near my bedroom door at the end of the hall I hear his reply.  
"Okay Scully, but you have to promise not to crawl out the window to the fire escape and head for your Mother's without me now."

I stifle a laugh as I shut the door behind me and let out a deep sigh when the door clicks in place behind me.

Our eyes meet again as I look down the rose carpeting where Scully sits at my feet, her hand still resting on my leg. "Scully really does have beautiful eyes." I think to myself as I let myself be drawn into her slowly.

She looks frozen still, like a deer caught in the headlights, but she doesn't look scared. She looks almost serene and more like a still life painting than a scared animal I decide. I let my thoughts drift for a moment and I find myself thinking a lot harder about Scully. Even for a split-second, I wonder what would happen if I just were to lean over right now to kiss her. What would she do? Would she kiss me back, or just turn her head and deliver a speech on the unholiness of interoffice affairs.

I don't even need to kiss her, I decide. Right now is enough; I just want to look at her and find myself as paralyzed as I feel right now. I want to know that she feels something, anything for me that will reach beyond our friendship. She looks so delicate and lost, and I wonder how she can be so strong. My thoughts gradually drift back to what would happen if I was to kiss her and I look deeper into her eyes for an answer. For a second I think that I see something there that resembles hurt, and then she looks away as if she has been slapped.

For a minute neither of us says anything. "What just happened was wrong." I think to myself. "That shouldn't have happened, no matter what it was. That shouldn't happen again." I close my eyes for a second and when I open them Scully is looking at me again. I see in her eyes that she knows the mistake that we let slip was that indeed. A mistake, I also realize that I will be receiving no more deep gazes from Scully in the immediate future if she can help it.

She stands and says something about needing to change that I am not quite clear on, my head still being delightfully fuzzy as I try to fight it back. As she turns to go I turn my head to watch her leave, wondering if I did the right thing. What I hear is the catch phrase she delivers to me on the way to her room. I can almost hear the laughter in her voice as she says,

"Don't go chasing after any little green men while I'm gone either Mulder. I don't have the time or the energy to glue together your pieces tonight." I pause for a second and think of a way to erase the tension I caused.

"Okay Scully," I start. "But you have to promise not to crawl out the window to the fire escape and head for your Mother's without me now." As I hear the door click shut my mind roams again. "Six weeks." I think. "What am I supposed to do for six weeks?"

I have no social life to speak of now that the X-files have invaded my life, not that I ever really did get along with people well after Samantha disappeared, or even before. The prospect of keeping the X-files running out of the office was not one I wanted to explore. Scully would just be angry and I couldn't be sure of any leads that may come through from the smoking man. No, that wasn't an option. What was an option was the idea of spending my `vacation' with Scully.

As I think more about it, it seems to be a better and better alternative than spending six weeks alone. I just hope that Scully won't tire of me too soon. I smile as I pick up Scully's purplish mug from the table beside me. As I raise it to my nose I inhale the smooth scent of the French vanilla flavoring, and I tip the mug to drink in the soft taste. Somehow the coffee reminds me of Scully and I find my thoughts pondering over the similarities between the soft, thick, and rich scent and the characteristics of Scully herself. Then I begin to wonder over deeper issues. "I wonder what a coffee cup of Scully would taste like?" I laugh to myself.

As I drink down the creamy liquid I can't stop myself from questioning our relationship. I think I have always been attracted to Scully somehow, but I remind myself that it is only attraction. Scully , beautiful, and I suppose that is why I was ever attracted to her in the first place. I'm not even sure why I am wasting my time thinking about this now, but I'm bored, and I know nothing will ever come of it. Most importantly, I'm not in love with Scully; I love her like a best friend, a beautiful, talented, smart, and witty best friend who just happens to be constantly in my thoughts. "But," I remind myself, "that's as far as it will ever go." And by the time Scully returns I have finished her coffee and my thoughts have reverted to my work, my partner, and my work.

I love seeing Scully dressed in civilian clothing. She looks so out of place from the cold and strict Agent Scully I have the pleasure of dealing with on a day to day basis. Scully had on a dark shirt and a pair of bootcut jeans that made her appear every bit the part of an elementary school teacher or the brainy psychologist. She was still very. dignified looking somehow, even as the average person.  
"What?" She asks, and I suppose that maybe I have been staring a little too long. I turn my attention to the window, deciding it is a safer object to gaze at.

"So Scully, What are we going to do today?" I ask, turning.

"I don't know." She answers thoughtfully, "why don't we just drive around and look for something to do?" She continues, pulling on her black shoes and smoothing her pant legs.

"Whatever you say chief." I say coyly. She looks back up to me and smiles. What a difference forty-eight hours can make.

She straightens up and walks to face me. "I thought we could get breakfast first, you know, since you probably haven't eaten since Wednesday when I bought you that bag of sunflower seeds in the drug store."

"I've eaten." I lie. She raises an eyebrow at me knowingly.

"Right, Mulder, I bet you've eaten."

"Well, not quite eaten really, but I am perfectly happy with my Mr. Pib and Twix diet so why shouldn't you be?"

She rolls her eyes and sighs, "Mulder, if you were a woman, you'd have the perfect figure."

"You mean like you, Scully?" She laughs. I knew she would.

"Come on Mulder, we're getting breakfast for you."

"Well I'm not hungry." I deny.

"I'll force feed you if I have to, Mulder." She looks up at me as I place my hand on the small of her back, and her eyes sparkle with very uncharacteristic laughter.

"Is that a promise Agent Scully?"

"It might be."

"Would you cuff me?" I ask.

"Aren't you supposed to be hitting on my mother, Mulder? I'm off limits remember? And I'm certainly no Bambi."

"All to well Agent Scully, all to well." I answer as I open the door for her to climb into my car. When I get into my own side and start the car Scully puts her hand on the wheel to stop me.

"Wait Mulder. I want to say something."

I turn my head to face her as she speaks.

"I think I need a little space today. To think a little less about work. So excuse my un-Scully like behavior today. I need to forget about some things so. just understand that. Okay?" She smiles. Wow.

She was right, she was being very. not herself today. I nod.

"Okay Scully." I say with a slight smile. "But does this mean I still have to hit on your Mother?"

She laughs again, and I think this is going to be a great day.

We drive to Marshall Avenue to the tiny diner that Mulder and I often rely on as a sole source of nourishment when work moves to quickly for food. The place is called "Mel's" and it is owned by an older Italian gentleman name Dominick Melano. The bureau is just to the left of the diner and I know that Mulder is thinking the very same thing as I am. It's tough to be so close.

We sit in a booth near the back, and I am lost in my thoughts. For some reason I have been acting out of character all day. I miss work. I miss my job, and I feel as if my whole world was just pulled out of reach. I depend on my job for regulation, for knowing that there is something out there, even if I won't admit to Mulder that I know he's right. Now we've been suspended for six weeks and I count myself as lucky that I just have Mulder to be with because I know he feels the same.

The booth is plastic and I have to stifle a laugh every time Mulder moves and the lamented surface squeaks with aggravation. He orders some eggs and something made of sausage and I order a glass of water. He also orders a flavored coffee.

"French Vanilla" he says, and winks at me across the table. Then he starts to sing quietly to me, "what's up pussy cat, whoa whoa whoa whoa-" another wink. I get the feeling Mulder is enjoying himself immensely.

"Mulder" I say, trying my best to look serious. "Stop it."

"Ah, but Scully, you're not the only one who wants a day off from reality. Let me have a little fun too, okay Bambi."

"I resent that, Mr. President." He looks at me as if he's choking.

"Another Government Official with a thing for Clinton? What a lucky man."

"I said Mr. President. I didn't specify which one."

"Ah, then who?"

"Let's just stick with President Mulder and work our way up from there." I smile while thinking. "This is so unlike me. What am I doing? How badly did I need a day off?"

"We can go up from there?" He asks.

"Oh yeah."

"Glad to hear it Scully."

"I thought I was Bambi?"

"She's got nothing on you, Mrs. Scully." He winks yet again and I can't stop myself from laughing. "Oh Mulder, your terrible."

"Tell me about it."

"I'm not sure I could find the words." He looks up with interest and our eyes meet. I can see the happiness in his eyes and for a moment I let myself wonder if it is there because of me. Mulder's eyes soften before me and I realize too late that it is happening again. I can feel myself falling by the second and when I try to pull away I find that I can't.

"Mulder." I plead silently. "Please look away, please."

Finally the waitress arrives and drops Mulder's tray with a thud between us. Everything seems to come into focus then, and Mulder turns his head downward to the table. I run my hands down my jeans when I feel how wet my palms have become and I discover that I'm even breathing hard.

"Scully-I don't want to-"

"I know Mulder, it's okay." I smile worriedly. The sooner we get to my Mother's the better. Mulder eats in record time and we set off again.

"Fasten your seatbelt, Mulder." I remind him.

"Yes Ma'am."

"Mulder." I say slowly. "I want to leave tomorrow. Will you come?"

He doesn't speak for a moment. "Are you sure you want me to?" He asks seriously.

"Yes Mulder. Please."

He takes a deep breath. "Okay Scully." And then, "hey, I need to pack don't I?"

I consider our options and then say, "why don't we pack now?"

"I don't know what to bring." He says.

I look out my window and roll my eyes silently. "Mulder."

"Okay, let's go." He says before we start on our way.

When we walk in Mulder's apartment is no messier or cleaner than usual and he offers me the last speck of visible food in the kitchen when we enter, a pear. I accept it and wonder why Mulder is now offering me gifts of fruit. I find my way through the living room to the bedroom, strangely enough one without a bed, and sit down in an armchair as Mulder packs.  
It's no wonder that women drool all over Mulder when we are on assignments. He is - very nice looking I guess, in the woodsman sort of way, considering he looks like he needs a good shave. In a lot of ways we are the two most unlikely people to get along as well as we do, but somehow we manage. I remember my first impression of Mulder so long ago. I hadn't expected him to be so... human. "FBI's most unwanted" seems a fair description of us, but after our first investigations I found myself lonely whenever not with Mulder. I sigh. I should have quit. I know that, and I would have quit thirty times over if it hadn't been for Mulder- I know that. Strangely enough I think he knows it too.

"Scully?" He interrupts, somehow standing in front of me, "you okay? I've been done packing for ten minutes and you haven't said a word."

I shake my head. "Just not paying attention I guess."

"Lost in those deep Scully thoughts, huh?"

"I... Something like that."

"So now what Scully?" I ask. "Why don't I take you home now so you can pack?"

"Okay, that sounds like a good idea." She answers mildly, obviously still lost in her own thoughts. By the time we reach Scully's I'm lost in my own thoughts as well. "Six weeks without the X-files" I think, "Can I handle that?" Amazingly, Scully even packs faster than the average person and she places her bags at the front door next to my own before I can even sort out where she had gone to when we entered the apartment. I look at my watch, reading 7:09.

"Well, Scully." I say, wishing to take advantage of her 24-hour outgoing mood. "What say you to dinner?"

"I'd say that's a great idea Mulder." She smiles. She has smiled more today that I have seen her smile collectively in eight years. Smiling becomes her, I think, she really should do it more often. We decide on Chinese take out for dinner and I agree to drive down and pick it up alone while she cleans.

"Women and cleaning." I think, "the two are inseparable."

When I return the apartment is much cleaner than it was when I left, thinking this was impossible. We ate slowly and dinner was filled with much more smiling and laughter.

"Aren't you tired Scully?" I ask after dinner. "Hasn't all this humanity taken a lot out of you?"

She turned to me from clearing the dishes away. "You know Mulder, I should be mad at you for that shot but you just wait until tomorrow." She pauses. "You're toast."

"Well then, I'm very sorry Scully. Please don't hold my big mouth against me." I say, faking mock politeness. I pause. "But feel free to put yours anywhere you wish - Mrs. Scully."

I catch a glare for that one.

"Oh Mulder." She says when we have finally cleaned to her satisfaction and have reclined to the couch where she leans into the crook of my arm. "Thank you for being here." She sighs. "I don't know what I would have done without you today. Or for the next six weeks really."

"It's okay, Scully, I'm glad I'm here too." I respond, gently stroking her hair back behind her ear. I let my arm drop to her side and wrap myself around her.

I awake at 2:30 when Scully rustles beside me. I try to separate the two of us without waking her and cover her up with the blanket she had brought out for me. Then I walk to the closet and pull out another blanket and pillow. I return to the couch and lay my own blanket down on the floor under her. "Goodnight Scully." I whisper as I sink deeper into sleep.

When I wake in the morning the VCR clock reads 7:20, which I reason early enough to begin our trip. I rise silently, careful not to wake Mulder asleep at my feet. When I exit the bathroom half an hour later I find Mulder in the kitchen with a stack of pancakes.

"See Scully, just because I don't eat doesn't mean I can't cook." And I have to admit, I am impressed, just a little.

At 8:34 we are on the road listening to oldies in Mulder's car. "Mulder," I remind him as we near the highway. "Put your seatbelt on." The trip was much like any other from there on, four hours of highways, and country roads where the cows graze along quietly. We reach my Mother's house around 12:40 and we're just happy to leave the car. As soon as we pull up in Mother's driveway she's practically out the door. She runs outside to hug me before I even close the passenger side door and then heads off to see Mulder.

"Why Mulder." She says, "Haven't you grown even more handsome since the last time I saw you!" She looks to me for approval; "Don't you think so Dana?"

I say nothing as we near the front door and my mother just smiles quietly as she carries on an idle conversation with Mulder behind me.

*

Six days later both Mulder and I had grown used to the slow pace of my mother's neighborhood and most of our days were spent in the backyard gardening with Mother, swimming, or driving around the small town looking for somewhere to eat.

Sunday night my Mother invited a few neighbors over for dinner, and Mulder and I were told to be on our best behavior. "And," she said to Mulder, "No being fresh with Dana in front of Father Benson."

She winked and patted him on the back. He just smiled at her and caused me to think that there had to be some sinister reason that they got along so well.

"Mulder," I ask before dinner. "Would you still hit on my mother if she were twenty years younger?"

He pauses and tries to look as if he is thinking very hard. "Well- wouldn't that amount to me being fresh with you?" He smiles at me strangely, "and your off limits remember. And no Bambi." He whispers, and I laugh.

"Just don't try anything in front of Father Benson, Mulder. The man baptized me." We both start laughing and my mother scurries in to tell us to hush.

"For God's sake children, the Father is here, and I'm trying to explain to him why I have two giggling love birds cooped up in the rear of the house all alone."

Two more loud bursts of laughter followed mother's speech.

We make our way out to the dinner table shortly after to the strange stares of Father Benson and his wife, seventh grade school teacher and childhood friend Susa May, and town committee member Jerry Kincaid, and Principal of Grady Middle Tom Edwards, an old boyfriend of mine from college. As we walk to out side by side seats in the dining room I can feel curiosity mounting, mostly Tom's.

"Hello Dana." Tom says eagerly, eyeing Mulder as he pulls out my chair for me when we sit.

"Hello Tom," I answer politely.

"Hello Tom." Echoes Mulder. My glare at Mulder then could have produced ice. He raises an eyebrow in my direction as Mother enters the room.

"Well everyone." Mother begins. "I'd like to introduce, or reintroduce for that matter my daughter Dana, and her close friend Fox Mulder."

"It's nice to meet you Fox." Tom's smirk flew across the table. Mulder barely flinches at the mention of his name and smiles openly to Tom.

"The pleasure is all mine, Tom."

Mother continues, ignoring the battle of wills before her. "Mulder, Dana, this is Father Benson, Gene Benson, Susa May, and Jerry Tom." She finishes, and when she sits food begins being passed counterclockwise down the table, passing from Tom hands, to mine, to Mulder's.

"Well Dana," Mrs. Benson says to me, "I must say it is very nice to have you home and safe for awhile." She smiles at me and continues. "We all get so worried about you up in that big city of Washington, with all those gunmen, politicians and whatnot."

"That's very nice of you," I answer sweetly, "but really, Washington isn't that bad."

"Yes." Tom chimes in, "especially when you have someone to look out for you, watching your backside and all that, right Dana?"

I try not to glare as my gaze meets his. "Right, Tom."

Susa May eyed me with a glimmer of hope in her eyes before she starts, "Dana, to tell you the truth, I really wanted to ask you a favor, and if it isn't too much I'd like to get it out of the way now."

"Sure Susa, what's the favor?" I inquire.

"Well you see, the school barn dance is next weekend and." I can see where this is going as I raise my coke to my lips, "We are desperately in need of adult chaperones, and your mother hinted that maybe you and your friend would be interested." She smiles hopefully at me and I nearly choke on my ice cubes.

I turn to question my mother, but find her busy with a theological conversation between herself and the Bensons. "Mulder and I?" I choke out to Susa May.  
Before I can gracefully decline, Mulder answers for me. "We'd love to Susa May."

Dinner can not end fast enough after that. I somehow manage to escape to the kitchen with Mulder after eating and drill him.

"Mulder," I insist, "you can't want to do this. I hate dances. I hated seventh grade. I hate Tom."

"I noticed." Mulder smiles at me, ignoring my first two reasons. "Old flame?"

"Don't start Mulder. I'll kill you." I pace the kitchen nervously until Mulder grips my arms and stares into my eyes laughing.

"Calm down Scully, your behavior is atrocious. Besides-" He smiles, "It'll give us something to do right?"

I can't bring myself to answer him. His grip loosens and his hands stroke my arms softly as he keeps our eye contact. I can feel my pulse quickening and I need to find away to stop this before something happens. Somehow I take a step into his arms and I'm close enough to him to hear the quickening thud of his heartbeat and feel his breath on my forehead.

"Wrong direction, Dana! Wrong direction!" my head screams.

I can feel myself sinking into him again and the dizziness returns. His hands gently massage their way to my back and I know he is as powerless as I am. Why can't I stop this? My eyes begin to flutter to a close as he leans over me. I can feel his face touch my own and his left hand stroke its way up to my cheek. His breath is cool on my lips and I can feel myself bending into him.

"Mulder." I whisper, "why can't I stop this?" Our lips brush against each other's and I clutch his arms firmly. A heat fills the air and I brush against Mulder's cheek once more.  
Someone enters the kitchen and a dish falls to the floor. That's all it takes, Mulder pulls away from me and takes a few steps backwards looking at the plate. Susa May bends over to pick up the few shattered pieces and I fall to my knees to help her, needing to keep myself busy so I won't have to look at Mulder. When Susa May and I have finished, Mulder is gone and I breathe a sigh of relief which Susa undoubtedly hears and she pulls me by the wrists out the green kitchen door.

"My goodness Dana!" She whispers excitedly, "What went on in that kitchen?"

"Nothing but what you saw, Susa." I answer.

"Honey your eyes are as big as saucers! What would have happened if I hadn't come in then?"

"I don't know Susa." I say plainly, clutching her writs as well. "I don't know."

"Well then," She says curiously, "How far has this gotten anyway?" She raises an eyebrow, I suppose it must be a learned trait.

"What do you mean?"

"I think he looks like a great lover Dana, all that muscle and well - he's the most amazing looking man I've seen in quite awhile. How lucky are you Dana?"

"What?" I ask sharply, "Oh no Susa, not that lucky at all." I pause, pondering the wording in that statement. "What you saw is all there is." I sigh. Calm down Dana.

"Okay then" Susa continues. Why won't she stop already? "Easy question number four. What did you want to happen Dana?" She smiles broadly then and I realize how long it's been since I've had one of these silly girlish conversations with a friend my own age.

"I-I don't know." I admit.

She smiles at me and pronounces me insane before we reenter the house. We walk into the visiting room where the rest of the party sits playing a board game. I spot Mulder leaning against the bookcase and shake free of Susa May to join him.

"Having fun?" I ask.

"Loads." He answers, and I can tell he hasn't stopped thinking about it since it happened.

"Mulder I-"

"Don't say anything, Scully. Please." I nod and we watch the rest of the game in silence, Mulder's arms spread across his chest dutifully.

The group finally clears out around twelve-thirty and I tell Mother I'll clean up in the morning to give her some rest. She heads upstairs quickly and I know she's trying to give us every opportunity to become `better acquainted.'

As Mother heads up the staircase I start my search for Mulder, who disappeared with the rest of the crowd. After searching the house, I give up and head outside. I walk to the old tree house where I used to play as a child with my siblings. I'd go there often to think, and I need to think right now. As I come upon the old tree house I discover Mulder as well.

"He's trying to get away from me." I think as I walk up behind him where he sits in the wooden swing, skipping rocks on the pond innocently like a loner in a Kodak ad. I place my hand on his shoulder and everything freezes. The night seems to be empty except for the two of us. He doesn't move, and I begin to wonder if maybe I should have left him to his thoughts. Suddenly, his warm hand clasps my own. His movements are slow and precise as he stands and lowers my hand to his side as he turns to me. The look on his face is serious and the dark shadow of night had fallen upon us both like a soft blanket.

"He's avoiding my eyes." I think to myself as I concentrate on his face again. I feel my eyes drawn to his like a powerful magnet.

"Mulder." I say, "It's going to happen again, I can feel it." I can barely whimper out the last sentence before he drops my hand and turns to the pond.

"It can't happen anymore, Scully." He warns. "Never again."

"I know Mulder, I know." I think about my words, and my head begins to ache as if I have forgotten something important. I give up and whisper softly. "I'm going in now." He nods. Our conversation is over.

"I can't believe I let it happen again. I'm not even sure how it did happen." I think as I give the stone a sharp throw. "She was just there, and them suddenly I lose control again. I couldn't stop it -not that I wanted to stop it. And she pressed herself against me and cried that she couldn't stop. And I couldn't either. How could I be so stupid? What would have happened if that girl hadn't busted in the kitchen when she did? How far would we have gone in that kitchen anyway, and most of all why? This isn't supposed to happen, I'm not supposed to want this. I am sure as hell not supposed to want to jump my partner in her mother's kitchen at Sunday dinner with a priest in the next room." I breathe out deeply and hurl another stone to ease my tension.

A hand falls softly on my shoulder and I know that it is Dana. "Dana" I think- "when did she become a Dana?"

Scully's hand falls on my shoulder.

I need to face her. I need to apologize for being such a bad friend to her, so unprofessional. I stand up and lower her hand to my side as I turn to face her. I don't want to have to feel alone as I speak to her here. I try not to look at her eyes as I think of the words to say, but none come to me. I glance back at her face and she is already looking into my eyes. "It's like she's asking for trouble." I think. "She doesn't want this. I can't let it happen. Stop Mulder, Stop!" The little alarm bells ring in my head as she moves closer. "No Fox. Bad idea, pull away already."

Her voice rings in my ears. "Mulder, it's going to happen again, I can feel it."

I feel it too. I break away from her before it's too late and start out into the pond. "It can't happen anymore, Scully." I say, speaking from the bottom of everything that is me. "Never again."

I breathe in as deeply as I can and hold my breath. So much for a mature apology.

"I know, Mulder, I know." She answers. I feel ready to burst.

"Go in Scully, Go in." I chant inside my head, a cheap mantra that I can't believe I'm repeating.

"I'm going in now."

I nod, clenching my fists. Her footsteps carry her away from me into the house and suddenly I wish I had looked into her for a just minute longer.

My alarm goes off at 7:00, and I think to myself that it is much too early to start my day. "Please." I groan to my alarm clock from under a pile of blankets and my practically ancient blue pillow. "Just let me have some sleep."

My alarm clicks off softly.

"Okay"

I raise my head. "Mulder?"

"Morning Sunshine." He smiles and I know that anything that ever happened is forgotten. Mulder leans down closer though, provoking even me to smile outwardly. "Just a tip though, you'll miss breakfast if you don't get up now, and I'm not sure if you want to leave your mother and I alone for that long."

I run my hand through my hair and shake my head. "Your right, I'm up."

I sit up in bed and try to untangle myself. "You didn't sleep last night did you, Scully?"

Don't worry about me Mulder. I think silently. "I'm fine, Mulder." I say.

His eyes meet mine in a concerned sort of gaze. "I know." I still feel like I need to explain something to him.

"I really am fine Mulder. Don't worry about me."

He breaks away from my eyesight. "Let's go, Scully."

I manage to pull myself out of bed and we walk down the stairs in silence.

"Morning Mother." I call into the kitchen as I sit down on the plump armchair in the family room. She responds with something I can't make out so I don't reply. "Where has Mulder gone?" I wonder. I hum softly to myself to pass the time. Then everything is dark.

"Guess who?"

"Mulder." I say. Light returns.

"You're too good for me, Scullerella."

"Yeah I know." I reply, standing. "But let's go eat breakfast anyway."

"I'm going to weigh five hundred pounds by the time we leave here." He says with a laugh, "You can't keep making me eat, food is a foreign bacteria in my body." He places a hand lightly on my back as we walk into the kitchen. I breathe a sigh of relief, everything is forgotten. Mother starts in as soon as Mulder pulls out my chair for me.

"Aren't you cute?" She smiles. "Isn't he cute, Dana?"

I nod my head. "Okay Mother." She grins brightly when Mulder sits down next to me.

"You know-"

"Why won't she give up already?" I wonder, but I let her go on.

"I think you to should get out of town this week. You know, spend a few days away."

"And where would we go, Mother?" I ask, cutting my waffle. "Honestly," I think. "Where is there to go?"

"Camping!" Mother chirps.

"Camping?" Mulder asks, smiling.

"No Mulder, no, no, no." I think silently. "No Mulder."

"Why yes Mulder, Dana used to love camping when she was a little girl."

"Do you have any pictures of this, Mrs. Scully?" Mulder continues as I think, "No Mulder-what are you doing! I don't want to camp. No. Mulder turns to me. "What do you think, Scully?"

"Camping?" I ask worriedly. "I don't think-"

"Okay then it's settled." Interrupts Mother. "You can leave after breakfast."

"Today, Mother?" I ask, nearly choking yet again. I should stop doing that.

In forty-five minutes Mother has us packed and ready to go.

"Bye now." She calls, pushing Mulder in the driver's seat and slamming his door shut. "Have fun!" Mulder puts his key in the ignition.

"Mulder. Your seatbelt."

We reach the camp sight soon enough. A small cliff named "Port Paris" jokingly.

"Well Mulder." I sigh, pulling my backpack out of the car. "You see what you've gotten us into? I hate camping." He just smiles at me across the roof of the car.

"I've never been camping, Scully, and you've never been camping with me. You will like camping." Still not very excited I help Mulder pitch the spacious tent on the cliff. Somehow Mulder manages to pull the huge tent together without wounding himself. By the time we finish unpacking our home for the next decidedly four days, it is already eleven. We eat a lunch of coke and chips, sitting over the edge of the cliff and throwing stones into the lake below.

When I wake up the next morning, Mulder is gone from the tent. "Okay." I say to myself as I pull myself upright. "This is strange." I change in the tent and then head outside to search for Mulder. I begin to walk to the lake below us down the path when someone runs up behind me and a wide brimmed hat is pushed onto my head.

"Come on, Scully." Mulder says, "We're going fishing." I pull the brim up high enough to see and meet eyes with Mulder.

"We're going what?" I ask.

"Fishing." He replies, smiling. "I think I'm going to like fishing."

Twenty minutes later, I am learning how to fish all over again.

"Mulder?" I ask from the pool of shallow water.

"Sshh, they'll hear you, Scully."

"Who Mulder?" I whisper. I Hold my pole at an angle to the water and perch it on my bent knee where I sit on a rock.

"The fish." He whispers in reply from where he stands behind me.

"Oh." I pause. "The fish will hear me?"

"Yes." I try my best to stifle a laugh. It doesn't work to well at all. "Are you laughing at me, Scully?" Mulder asks from above. I tilt my head back to see him, still laughing.

"No Mulder. I'm not." I laugh harder and put my finger to my lips. "But ssh, Mulder, they'll hear you." He tries to look angry at me. It doesn't work and he ends up breaking a smile.

"Well they will." He replies.

"I know," I laugh, "that's what's so terrible, the fish being the only ones interested in hearing us." I pause, "hey Mulder, why don't you tell them about all some of your alien theories to rivet them senseless, and then we'll just go around and pick them up."

He laughs now and simultaneously there is a strong tug on his line. His legs hit my back and I reach out to grab onto something. I end up latching onto Mulder's legs and he loses his balance. I slip forward into the water and Mulder topples down as well. I scream sharply as the water hits my face. The water is very cold. Very, very cold. I lift my head up and look around. Mulder lies next to me, soaked in just as much lake water as I am. "Smooth, Mulder." I laugh as he shakes his head and stands up to sit on the rock. He raises an eyebrow at me.

"I didn't even know you could scream, Scully. After alien life forms, liver eating men, and beasts, this is what it takes to hear you scream?" He tries to look suspicious as I stand.

"I guess it takes seeing my partner drenched in fish water to get that out of me." He smiles.

"Maybe I should push you into lakes more often then, right?"

I shrug. "You learn something new every day."

"I guess so." He answers. "For what other reason would you scream then? As long as I'm learning something new, I'd like to know." He smirks and I return one of my own, rolling my eyes.

"Don't flirt with me, Mulder. I'm no Bambi."

We spend the rest of the day alternating between the lake and our campsite. That night we make into the tent at about eleven, Mulder's hand is on the small of my back when we crawl in.

"Goodnight, Mulder." I say as I fall asleep.

"Goodnight, Scully." He answers tiredly.

When I woke to day three of our camping trip Scully was, once again, still asleep. "Well," I thought to myself, "at least she's sleeping now." I change in the tent, knowing there is no way Scully will be up for another hour. I step outside and whistle some song from long ago as I make up a breakfast of sunflower seeds and Twix. As I clean up the campsite afterwards, Scully walks out of the tent.

"Thanks for honoring us with your presence, Miss Scully." I say with a smirk.

"Who is `us' Mulder?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I hear it in a lot of old movies, Scully. It always seemed to work for them so who am I not to take a stab at it?" I say jokingly.

"You're Fox Mulder, Mulder." She laughs. "What are you dumping my mother now?" She crosses her arms in front of her and I continue, somewhat against, hell, without, my better judgement-

"For you? Anything."

"Like what?"

"Well for starters, I made you a nutritious breakfast of Twix and Sunflower seeds. Then I ate it, because I remembered you don't like Twix or Sunflower seeds." She pulls a piece of bread out of the bag in the carton and bites into it.

"Really? How thoughtful."

"Yeah, and now, to burn off all those bread calories, we're going for a hike."

She rolls her eyes. "Your so good to me Mulder, what would I do without you?"

I smile. We both know she wouldn't be here without me.

"Shall we go, Miss?"

Our hike begins at the base of the cliff and then works upward to the top of the mountain, going sideways. Scully is better than I expected and halfway to the top I need a break.

"Hold up, Scully." She stops and we sit on a few large boulders that crowd the path. She is silent for a few minutes and I know better than to say anything.

"It's so beautiful up here Mulder." She says finally.

"It is." I agree, looking around. The sunlight filters like gold through the green branches of all the trees, and bounces off the stones at our feet.

"I'm glad we're here." She says.

"So am I." I say gruffly and when I turn her eyes are on me in a very odd way. She stands up; leaving me a little confused and says.

"I'd be even more excited if we could reach the top sometime today, Mulder."

I laugh, and all is forgotten.

It is nearly sunset by the time we do reach the top, and we look down on all the life below us. I feel powerful and insignificant all at the same time somehow. We don't stay long for the fear of having to make our way down the mountain in the darkness. As we make our way down the path, Scully slips on something behind me and I know we are facing another collision.

I can hear a few stones tumble behind me and Scully make a soft sound like "eep". I turn around to help her and I slip on some of the loose stones in the process. I throw my arms out in the air in an effort to balance myself and I lean over. Right into Scully. Somehow I manage to take us both down again. We fall to the right and land in a soft patch of grass.

"Okay Mulder." Scully says, rubbing her head. "Is there some point you wanted to make about being the clumsiest man ever? I think you've got it now, so you can stop falling on me."

"Sorry." I laugh. I haven't been having the best of luck lately. I stand and pull her up, and we make our way back to the campsite, thankfully without incident.

When I return from the bathroom to the campsite later the next night it appears Scully wants to have a party. She's pulled out every bit of extra food we have left and started a small fire near the tent.  
"Ah," I say, "A woman who gets things done. I admire that, Scully." She smiles and looks up at me from where I stand over her near the fire.

"You realize you've never called me that before, Mulder?"

"What?" I ask, "Scully?"

"No, not that Mulder." She rolls her eyes. "You said woman."

I'm baffled. "Well," I stammer, "you are."

"I know that, Mulder." She says raising an eyebrow. "But in eight years, you've never called me a woman before. Am I finally getting the respect I deserve or something?"

"Or something." I answer. "You still don't have a desk."

She laughs, "I thought it was too good to be true."

At the end of our toasting expedition I must've eat three thousand toasted marshmallows, with Scully nearing that amount herself. We pack up everything we have left, and I'm suddenly not so eager to return to town.

"Four more weeks, Scully." I say as we load up the car all except for the tent. "We could spend three more of them here." I shrug my eyebrows at her and she laughs.

"Mulder, I couldn't take it, you and the forest for three solid weeks? I'd go crazy."

"But you are crazy, Scully." I say when we are finished. "Remember? You UFO chasing goon."

"No that's you." She reminds me. "I am the practical assistant who will kill you herself if you end up in the hospital one more time."

"Oh, right." I say, "All this time away from the office has made me forget." I pause and smile. "Will you really kill me?"

"Mulder. I promised myself that the last time you were in the hospital would be the last time. I know it's not too practical, but really, try to stop getting into so much trouble all the time. I'm going to need medication or something." She speaks without looking at me, and instead focuses of the lake below the cliff and the dark horizon. She looks up and smiles at me on her last word and we retire to the tent for our last night here at "Port Paris."

The next morning we are in the car before the sun is up, and Mulder's oldies are playing loudly as we roll out of Port Paris. The trip is as just as silent as most of our trips are when we aren't arguing or purposely not speaking to each other. We reach Mother's around nine or ten. I'm not wearing my watch so I can't say for sure what time it is. Mother runs through her usual routine and hugs me gently before shuffling over to squeeze Mulder on the arm to let him know she's proud of the way he's handling me. As we walk in the door I hear a car engine vibrate loudly down Mother's small street. I see none other than Tom Edwards, in all his high school principal glory, wrapped into a tiny red sports car. He pulls up to the gate and I walk over to meet him, not wanting him to leave the car.

"Greetings Dana." He says, and runs a hand through his thick head of blond hair. "I thought maybe you'd like to join me for lunch." He bobs his head. That is so annoying. I have the sudden urge to laugh in his face but instead I say,

"Actually Tom, I did have plans for lunch today, maybe-"

"Oh don't be silly Dana," Mother interrupts. "Just lunch with Fox and I, you're free to go wherever you want." I turn to look at my mother and see that Mulder is not with her. I look around for him but I think he must have gone inside. "That jerk." I think to myself, "leaving me alone out here with this - this..." I let my mind wander. I know it's none of Mulder's concern but I decide to spite him anyway.

"Okay then." I smile at Mother. "I'll be home later." I say, opening the door, and Tom finishes for me.

"Much later, Mrs. Scully, if I can help it."

Tom doesn't wear his seatbelt and I say nothing as we roar down the street.

I look out the window to see Scully looking trapped between Mrs. Scully and than Don something. She looks angry for a split second before climbing into the car, leaving me confused. "That's all she does lately." I say out loud. "Confuse me."

"Me too, Fox." Mrs. Scully chimes in. I turn my head from the empty window and smile back at her as she points to the kitchen and says, "Shall we?"

"You know Dana," Tom continues, "I have really missed you being around."

"Why?" I ask seriously. He never did seem to want me around when I was here, not that I was ever too fond of his company.

"You know." He says, "for companionship." He turns his head and looks me over slowly. "Ick." I think to myself. "We were quite the perfect couple weren't we Dana?" He says, parking the car and turning to face me completely.

"No." I say truthfully. "You were loud and obnoxious, and always too touchy for my brothers ever to like you."

He laughs. "But you liked me Dana, I do seem to remember that. Tell me if I'm wrong." I feel like telling him that he was always the scum of the earth but I know that's a lie and so I keep silent.

"Tom, this was a long time ago, why are you bringing it up?"

"I just thought you'd like to think it over, that's all." He says smiling and pulling open the door for me.

I return home right after lunch. I wanted to stay longer for Mother and Mulder's sake but I find it increasingly difficult to spend more time with Tom than I have to. He drops me off in front of the house and I turn to wave, just in case anyone might be watching. Mother was. As soon as I walk in the front door she asks how my "lunch date" went. I sigh and avoid her answer while thinking, "Why is she always trying to fix me up with somebody? Can't she see that I'm perfectly-" a clang from the kitchen interrupts my thoughts.

Mother smiles at me innocently, Susa May dropped by with some travel brochures for me to look over and offered to help Fox clean up the kitchen. "I'm glad they are getting along so well." She adds.

"Oh Mother." I just can't stop wondering how she got to be the way she is as I walk towards the stairs. "I'm going up to change Mom, I'll be right-" I am once again interrupted midsentance by the kitchen as Susa May comes bursting out the door laughing. Mulder follows closely behind wiping his hands on a dishtowel and smiling as broadly at Susa as he had at Bambi. I'm stunned somehow. He looks away from her long enough to notice that I exist and sums up with all the collective intelligence he can muster,

"Oh hi Scully."

"Oh hi Mulder." I respond before I turn and smile at Susa May, "Hi Susa, it's nice to see you again." She nods vigorously.

"It's nice to see you too Dana," she smiles again, and I can't help liking her despite the angry waves churning in my stomach. Why? I wonder. "He's not mine." I quickly remind myself. "Just partners. Just friends."

"Well," I say to her, "I was just about to go upstairs and change for a swim, if you'd like to come. I don't like swimming alone." I add. She brightens.

"Sure Dana, I'd love to! Just let me run home and grab my suit, okay?" She bobs around excitedly and I remember why I always loved being around Susa when we were younger.  
As Susa turns for the front door I start up the stairs to my room and try with great difficulty not to slam the door when I get there.

A few, short minutes later Susa returns and we go out to the pool. Mulder has disappeared. Greatfully, I lean back in the deck chair and put on my dark sunglasses. Somehow the color black suits me I suppose. I wonder for a moment why that is, and ponder over why the swimsuit I bought is also black. I put these thoughts aside as I watch Susa's slender colorful body paddling around the pool in fluid strokes, wearing her shimmering pink two piece. I sigh, suddenly unhappy, and open my book.

Not long after, I feel restless and tired. I let my book fall to my side and hear the soft slap as it hits the concrete patio. I decide to close my eyes, just for a second, I resolve.

When I open my eyes again it is already sunset. I look in the pool for Susa, but I don't see her and I know she must have left long before my nap ended. I still feel as restless and irritated as I had earlier and I don't quite know what to do. I roll my head back to ease the tension in my neck and close my eyes. Balling my hands up into tight fists I arch my back off the reclined deck chair forcefully trying to free the strain that tugs at me. I pull my arms behind my head to relax and sigh loudly. I need to do something to vent out all this extra energy. I pull myself up slowly again and bend my knees until I'm able to slip off of the chair, standing up I raise my arms above my head to stretch.

I walk to the edge of the pool and stare into the clear water before I step out onto the diving board and sit on the side of it to watch the sunset, letting my feel dangle into the cool water. I pull off my sunglasses and throw them behind me, I suppose onto the patio, but I never hear them meet the ground.  
I sigh deeply, I seem to be doing a lot of that lately, and try to concentrate on the horizon. When my attempts at focusing don't work as I had hoped them to I lift myself off the side of the board with my arms and pull myself up. I slide a little on the side of the board I reach my hand out to regain balance and look to my feet. A warm hand grasps my own as I extend my arm and I nearly go into cardiac arrest.

"I thought you didn't like to swim alone." Says a deep voice. I sigh out my tension. More sighing.

"Mulder." My body relaxes. I hadn't known how nervous I was. I turn my head to him. "I don't." I realize I'm gripping his hand a little tightly still, I loosen it and say, "I'm sorry, you scared me, that's all."

He looks amused by this. Bastard. "I scared the mighty Scully?"

"Yes." I look back up to him and see that he has that far away look in his eyes as he stares out across the water.

"You know, Scully, there are some times when I am scared about what will happen in the future if I don't find Samantha. You know, like if the X-files were taken away from us for good this time, what

would I do?" He pauses to think. "What would I have left?"

"Mulder," For a minute I notice how close we are standing to each other, and also, with a blush, how void of clothing i am. He looks down to me questioningly and I force myself to go on. "You'd still have me." I pause, realizing what I have just said. "- And Skinner. The lone gunmen," I continue shakily, realizing how stupid I now sound. "And besides, the bureau would never do that anyway," Eons pass and I whisper softly. "They may not like us, but they can't stop us."

He nods strongly, but we still stand frozen in place on the edge of the diving board, his head bent over my hair to an angle, my hand still in his, and the soft cloth of his chest pressing up to my bare back. He rests his forehead in my hair and wraps his free arm around my waist suddenly and I'm too shocked to react. I don't think I've ever been this intimately physically close to Mulder before and I'm feeling a little light headed to tell the truth. He clutches onto me like a glass life preserver, something very fragile but important too. I don't know what to do. My heart begins to throb and I can feel Mulder's pulse quickening too as his breath deepens. He moves above me and I can feel his lips settle into my hair. My free hand somehow works its way up to his cheek and I brush my fingers against his face gently. Something blasts loudly off in the distance that sounds like fireworks and I draw my arm back down to my side with a start. Suddenly Mulder is just gone and I can't bring myself to turn around. My blood is pounding in my ears and I can't force myself to think to straight. I sit down slowly on the end of the diving board, and then debate over what to do. I can't tell if Mulder is even outside anymore and I lower myself gently down into the water. The water is cold, even though it is a heated pool. I sigh again as I drop into the water.

"Oh God," I think silently, "What have I done?" I sink under the water to clear my head and when I come up facing the opposite direction I see that Mulder is indeed gone. "Oh God." I whimper again before sinking back down under the water.

I finish the book Scully had lent me earlier and I decide to go search her down to return it. When I get downstairs I hear Mrs. Scully singing in the kitchen. A song about fishermen and dancing mermaids and I have to smile as I walk into the kitchen of skeptic Scully's mother. The kitchen is open to the pool out back and as I ask Mrs. Scully where Scully Jr. has gone off to she points outside with a slight grin on her face.

"I'm going upstairs now, Fox, see you later." She calls while leaving the kitchen. I walk out the kitchen back door to the pool and make my way to Scully's deck chair. Her black rimmed sunglasses are slipping off her nose slightly and I can see that she is asleep. Vaguely I wonder if Scully has ever slept with Tom, but I push that thought out of my mind. I drop down to my knees as I get to her chair and smile at her sleeping face. Amazingly, even hardened FBI agents look like children when they sleep. Adorable, innocent, sweet, tempting, enticing, sexy children. Well... maybe that was a bad analogy. She mumbles something in her sleep and I watch her lips move slowly around the words.

"I wonder if she's cold out here." I think to myself when I look down and realize that Scully is only wearing her thin suit. I gently push some of her hair behind her ears as she sleeps and let my hand linger on her cheek for a moment. "You know Scully." I say to her suddenly. "You're the most incredible person I've ever known, and because you're not awake, you can't hear me and make fun of my high opinion of you." I smile at her and start to walk away. When I reach the door I hear a soft rustle and I know Scully must be awake.

"Did she hear me?" I wonder silently, but then my thoughts go blank as Scully begins to move. She leans her head back and breathes out a deep sigh and before I can turn away or walk toward her she arches her back and pulls her arms above her head almost seductively. She looks very - different than I should be thinking of Scully right now and so I decide I should go in - now. Suddenly she twists in a rather unnatural way and somehow ends up on her feet with be arms pulled over her head in a stretch. Somehow I can't stay lingering in the doorway as she walks to the water and stares in for a moment before moving on to the diving board. She walks casually to the side and I step closer to her. I'm in front of her chair when she throws her sunglasses backwards and I catch them in my hand without pausing. I smile at my reflexes and place the glasses softly in my back pocket, resolving to give them back to her in a moment.

I reach the board silently as she is standing. Her attention is focused downward on the water below her and suddenly she almost slips. Her arm reaches out for balance, and I grasp it with my own, softly rubbing her hand. "I thought you didn't like to swim alone." I murmer quietly, suprizing myself. She exhales deeply again and says only "Mulder," before seeming to go rigid.  
She pauses and I take a step closer

"I don't." Her hand loosens under my own and she blinks, "I'm sorry, you scared me, that's all."

"I scared Scully? What an interesting trip this is" I think.

"I scared the mighty Scully?" I look out over the water as I think about all that I owe Scully. I owe her an explanation for why I am so difficult- I owe her my sanity, my life-

"Yes." She says meekly. I breathe in deeply as I take another step closer to her. I feel as if I owe her more than this. More than I have to give - but mostly, an explanation for what I'm feeling.

"You know, Scully," I start, "there are some times when I am scared about what will happen in the future if I don't find Samantha. You know, like if the X-files were taken away from us for good this time, what would I do?" How am I doing?

"Mulder," She says, nearly beneath me. we are standing very close aren't we? I look down and she goes on. "You'd still have me." She says. Does she know what she just said?

"She's going to correct that." I think, and sure enough she does.

"- And Skinner... The lone gunmen," she sounds shaken, but the same old Scully shines through again. "And besides, the bureau would never do that anyway," then her soft whisper rises up to me softly. "They may not like us, but they can't stop us."

I nod, and a strange feeling creeps over me again. I don't move, if she wants to end this she can, but I am not going to be the one who ends anything for now on. I bend down over her and rest my head in her copper hair. "Agent Scully's hair." I remind myself. "Your partners hair." I wrap my arm around her to fight off those thoughts. I feel her breathe in sharply and then relax, I smile, knowing I must be scaring the hell out of her. Good, damnit. It's about time she's felt some of the frustration that she causes me for herself.

I lean upwards for a moment and press my lips into her hair. Scully probably can't wait for me to leave her alone. My heartbeat is throbbing in my chest now, and I'm not sure if I `can' let Scully go. Suddenly, she's touching me. I'm almost knocked off the board by this. Scully is touching me, gently even, with small even strokes of her soft, pale fingers.

"No-" I think, "She's not supposed to do that- oh God what did I do?" Something blasts in the distance and Scully withdraws. ""Finally," I think, "She's got her sense back." My heart won't stop pounding in my chest, and I feel like I'm drowning. A million thoughts fly through my head at once as I move, most of them saying "no-no-no. go go go." Damn those mantras.

I look back to Scully and see she has walked farther to the end of the board. She sits, and slowly pushes herself down into the water. She groans softly as she slips into the water and I know I need to leave. As I make my escape into the kitchen door I hear the soft remark she makes to no one in particular, "Oh God," and then all I hear is a soft sob before I close the door behind me.

I wake up late on Saturday morning and get dressed in a hurry. "Oh no," I think, "The barn dance is tonight. What else can go wrong?" I don't see Mulder when I get downstairs and I ask Mother if she has seen him.

"Why yes," She replies, "Fox left with Susa quite early this morning."

"Oh." I say, trying to seem unconcerned. "Any idea why?"

"No not really." Mother says as she looks up from her geraniums she has been watering. "He didn't say much this morning about it, just that he would be back in time for the barn dance thing."

"Oh." I nod and start for the kitchen.

"Dana." Mother calls.

"Yes Mom?" I ask, unruffled.

"You do a marvelous job of pretending you're not angry dear, you deserved a comment."

I laugh, "Thank you, Mom."

"Anytime, Dana."

The day passed quickly after that morning. I helped Mom garden around the house, and we cleaned until the house practically glowed. Then Mother declared she was ready for a swim and went upstairs to change.

As I make my own way upstairs I spot Mulder's ID lying in the corner of the stairwell. I pick it up and open it. Sure enough Mulder's unsmiling face looks back at me. I pocket the ID and skip up the rest of the stairs to my room where I change

Mulder returns alone at five in the afternoon and I spot him when he makes his way out to the pool searching for us.

"Hey Scully." He calls.

"What?" I send across the yard to where Mulder stands, hands in his pockets rocking back and forth.

"What time does the school thing start?"

"Six." I yell simply.

"Well it's five right now, are you going like that?"

"Oh, no." I say softly and look to Mother, who points to the house,

"Better go." She says.

"Coming Mulder." I say as I run to the house.

In half an hour I decide that I am suitable to go, wearing a green dress I have always thought was too tight with a neckline too low. I opt for a change in shoes as well and slip on green heels. "What a night." I think to myself.

When I get downstairs Mulder is already pacing the room, looking nervous. "Calm down Mulder," I call down the remaining steps. "I'm ready now, we can go." Mulder smiles at me when I finally reach the steps. I can't figure out if it's because I made a joke and he's laughing, because he doesn't really want to go, or because he's an avid womanizer, but either way we are out of the door as soon as I come downstairs. When we reach the car Mulder opens the door for me. I wish he'd stop being so nice, and by looking at the smirk on his face, he knows it. He gets in the car and doesn't turn on the radio. Instead he reaches for his seat belt but pauses before touching it.

"Tell me to, Scully."

"Tell you to do what Mulder?" I ask, stunned, yet sounding annoyed.

"Well, I can't do it without you telling me to. It's a learned behavior now."

I smile. "Put your seatbelt on, Mulder." He does so and he starts the car.

I direct Mulder to the school, and we make it there at exactly 5:45. Good time if you ask me. As we near the doors to the gym Mulder stops. I turn to face him and he puts his hands on my bare arms.

"Listen Scully." He begins looking at me seriously. "We need to make up."

I shake my head, "Mulder if you think I-"

"No Scully, listen. I know you're mad at me, and I don't blame you, but just for tonight let's forget okay?"

"Okay," I choke. Not pretending to understand how he knew.

"Alright." He says, "now we need to make polite conversation. Do you like to dance, Scully?" He drops my arms.

"Did you ever go to a dance, Mulder" I ask, smiling.

"Not really." he admits looking down, "I only went to one." He pauses, "I went to my senior prom."

I can't help smiling, the vision of a teen Mulder in a bad suit filled my thoughts. "With who?"

"My science lab partner." He laughs, "Her name was Danielle Sausager."

I stifle a chuckle. "Okay, Mulder." I say. "Can we go in now?" He breathes in deeply.

"Okay."

Then we pass through the few stray hay bales declaring this event a true barn dance and straw hatted dummies near the entrance. We walk in to a room full of blaring pop music filled to the rim of already dancing little people, and suprisingly a few dancing chaperones. I spot Tom near the back of the room and make a mental note to stay away from that side of the gym. I pull Mulder to the side, away from Tom's range of vision. "Mulder let's just stay here for awhile, okay?" Mulder grins and leans over to whisper in my ear.

"Who are we hiding from now, Scully?"

I sigh. "Okay Mulder, have it your way." I smile, "what do you want to do?" Suddenly Mulder grabs my hand and spins me around.

"I want to dance with you, Scully." He looks so happy that I'm not sure I can say no if I want to.

"If you say so chief." I say, looking into his eyes. Somehow they look brighter than usual, or at least less dark as we move away from the wall and he gently takes my hands and we began to dance to the slow song just beginning. A song I vaguely remember plays in my ears as I draw myself in closer to Mulder.

_"Let me be the one you call_  
_If you jump I'll be ready to fall"_

Mulder drops my hands and his arms settle softly on my lower back. He drops his head to my hair and I have an overwhelming sense of deja vu.

His arms tighten around my waist and I raise my hands up to place them behind his neck. I stretch as tall as I can and smooth my hands up his shoulders until I locked myself in place around his neck.

He breathes in sharply, and runs his hands across my back. He pulls me closer to him until our bodies seem to merge on the impromptu dance floor. He drops his head beside my ear and I can't resist turning my head to face him and leaning into his chest. "We need each other." I think.

_"Because there has always been heartache and pain. _  
_And when its over you'll breathe again_

"Mulder," I whisper into his ear. "Are you breathing?"

I can feel his laughter ripple through my body. "No." He answers.

"Scully," He whispers over the noise of the room, "we don't know what we're doing." He paused. "This is a mistake, and you know it, Scully." He sounded almost angry.

"I can mend a broken heart"

"What, Mulder?" I spit at him angrily and pull my head away to face him. "This is my fault now?" I drop my arms and place them on my hips.

"No." He says quietly, dropping his arms from my back. "I didn't say that, it's just that- - you're the responsible one, and-"

"So because you are the baby everything is my problem now?" I break in, pulling him to the side. "No Mulder, No. I don't think so. You are just as responsible as I am." I say, hoping I don't look as confused as I feel.

"I know, but." He looks up at me with sad eyes and continues, "Scully, it's just that I expect you to be the one to stop everything that's all, and when you didn't-" he trails off.

I know that if I don't get out of this soon Mulder is going to see me cry. "So I'm an accident, Mulder?" A single tear rolls down my cheek and I reach up to smudge it away before he sees it. I'm not fast enough.

"Scully that's not what I meant." His whisper is rash and angry, and at the moment I don't want anything to do with him.

"Yes it is Mulder, that's what you meant and you know it." I hiss. "If you lack the proper faculties to realize that then I'm sorry but keeping track of you is not my problem." I pause. "At least not anymore." I drop my head, beaten, and raise my hand to block any further comments as I turn and walk away cursing under my breath so that the corruption of the youth of America isn't pinned on me.

_I can mend a broken heart _  
_If you need to crash_  
_To crash and burn you're not alone"_

I tighten my arms around Scully's waist, and I can feel her arms creep slowly up to wrap themselves around my neck. This pulls her even closer to me, if that is possible, and I take a deep breath, and run my hands across her back. I squeeze her tighter and discover that it is possible for her to get closer. I drop my head to the side of her face and concentrate on her slow movements. Scully had a lot of traits that I didn't know existed until two weeks ago, and obviously being seductive was a new one to add to the list.

_"Because there has always been heartache and pain. _  
_And when its over you'll breathe again_  
_You'll breathe again"_

"Mulder," she laughs into my ear, "Are you breathing?"

I laugh and I can feel her body responding to my every move. "No." I answer honestly.

I focus on what is happening. "Something is wrong." I think. "I need to stop this before Scully has to."  
"

Scully," I whisper over the noise, "we don't know what we're doing." He paused. "This is a mistake, and you know it, Scully."

"I'm getting very worried about where this is going" I thought silently.

"What, Mulder?" She turns from me and drops her hands from my back, placing them firmly on her hips. "This is my fault now?"

"No." I say quietly, knowing that was what she would think. "I didn't say that, it's just that- -" What am I supposed to say? "You're the responsible one, and-" I'm drowning here...

"So because you are the baby everything is my problem now?" she breaks in, pulling me to the side. "No Mulder, No. I don't think so. You are just as responsible as I am."

"I know, but." Strike three. I am in very big trouble. I look down to her, the emotion in her eyes spilling over. I try again, "Scully, it's just that I expect you to be the one to stop everything that's all, and when you didn't -" I'm lost, what do I say now?

"So I'm an accident, Mulder?" Her voice cracks and a tear rolls down her cheek. I look away. I didn't want to hurt her by saying that.

"Scully that's not what I meant." I say.

"Yes it is Mulder, that's what you meant and you know it." She says angrily. "If you lack the proper faculties to realize that then I'm sorry but keeping track of you is not my problem." She pauses. "At least not anymore." I'm stunned. Where is she going? Is she ditching me? Her head drops and she wipes away a few more tears before she turns away, blocking any more excuses I may have as our song ends and another begins.

I head directly for Tom. I need someone, anyone, and he is my only option. How did I let myself get dragged down so deeply? What can I do to make it better? Tom finds me before I find him.  
"Dana," His voice is soothing as he strokes my arm. "What's wrong?" When I stay silent he takes my hand and guides me outside through the back doors. I can hear the music steaming outside from the gym.

_"I think I did it again_  
_I made you believe_  
_We're more than just friends._

"That's perfect. Hilarious and perfect." I think. "I should buy Mulder the CD. A singing Bambi, of all things."

I listen more to the words of the song than to Tom's words of comfort, which consist of death threats to whoever hurt me, and many offers to drive me home, which I deny.

_"You see my problem is this;_  
_I'm dreaming away,_  
_Wishing my feelings were truly for you ,_  
_I cry watching the days,_  
_But you see, I'm a fool, in so many ways,"_

I thank Tom for being "such a great friend" and assure him I am okay before I return with him to the dance. "I'm supposed to be a chaperone here." I think. "It's kind of ironic that I feel more like a student."

I look in over Tom's shoulder. If I could only find Mulder.

_"Oops I did it again to your heart_  
_Got lost in this game oh baby yeah_  
_Oops you think I was sent from above_  
_I'm not that innocent_  
_Oops I did it again-" _

The music trails off and I thank Tom again before trailing off myself.

~

I watch Scully walk outside with that pig, Tom's arm over her, looking damn proud. The music starts and I sit down on a bench at the side of the room where a few seventh grade wallflowers are hanging out.

"I think I did it again  
I made you believe  
We're more than just friends  
Oh baby,  
It may seem like a crush  
but it doesn't mean that I'm serious"

"Hey." A small dark haired boy greets me as I sit down. "Rough night?" he asks.

"You could say that." I say to this Harry Potter doppleganger, smiling at him and bending my elbows on my knees. For a minute I feel like I'm caught in a bad Disney movie myself.

"So what's your name, kid?" I ask.

"Bernard A. Kuffleburd." He says, pushing his glasses back up his nose. I can see why this poor kid, in all his science club glory, doesn't have a date already.

"The A is for Albustine." He says after awhile. "I hate my name. What's yours, sir?"

I smile. ' Sir' ... "My name is Fox Danger Mulder." I tell him. "I hate my name too, at least most of the time I do."

"Is your middle name really Danger?" He sniffs.

"No." I say, "I have an awful middle name too. That's why I only hate my name part of the time. See, you give yourself an interesting middle name like `Danger' and you're set, Bernard my friend."

"Really, Fox that middle name thing works?" He asks after a pause long enough for me to contemplate the meaning of the song.

"Where is Scully?" I think loudly.

"Really." I answer, "But I let my closest friends call me Mulder." I say, thinking about where Scully could be right now, what she could be doing, and who with. I grind my teeth. "You can call me Mulder too, Bernard."

_"Oops I did it again to your heart_  
_Got lost in this game oh baby yeah_  
_Oops you think I was sent from above_  
_I'm not that innocent"_

I finally spotted Scully coming in from outside with Tom Edwards. "Hey Bernard," I say, "You think really hard about that middle name you want and when you come up with one you like I might have a suprise for you. Okay?"

"Okay." Bernard agrees and shakes my hand as I stand to re-find Scully. I wave at him as the next song starts.

I finally catch sight of Mulder as the next song starts. I make my way to the bench where he is sitting with a familiar looking little boy, but when I glance away for a minute, he's gone. How like him. I stand still and look for him as the words of the music seep into my thoughts.

_" I guess we've had our fun_  
_But it seems the fun is over now, _  
_And that's all right_  
_It's all right,_  
_So we need to move along now,_  
_And it will be all right._  
_And it's all my fault."_

I decide that I really hate these damn hidden messages in songs and that this one is speaking about me. I feel limp as I give up the search for Mulder. "I don't really care where he is," I rationalize as I make my way through the crowd, "He obviously doesn't want to see me anyway." I sit in a folding chair behind the "official beverages table" and begin pouring punch half heartedly for the young partygoers.

I am getting really sick of this disappearing act Scully keeps pulling. I can't find her anywhere, and this stupid music is starting to get to me. I don't like it at all. I remember our conversation in the hospital that night earlier in the month and begin to replay it in my head.

"You are crazy, Mulder."

"Am I?"

"Yes."

"How so?"

"Your job consists of chasing after little green men and UFOs. How is that not crazy?" I had laughed at that.

"I have you, don't I?"

"Yes."

"Well you're just as crazy then, maybe even more so for putting up with me." I had said, and I had meant it too, Scully was smart and she would either have to be crazy or in love with me to put up with all of my crap. oh shit.

_"Can we go again?_  
_Cause, I just want to make amends _  
_So it's all right _  
_And it's all right_  
_And I try as hard as I can but I just can't, can't seem to understand_  
_And I know it's all right_  
_And it's all my fault."_

"Maybe, but what if I do it out of pity? What then?"

It was then that I had first looked into her eyes and remarked to myself how beautiful she was. is

"I don't think you do anything out of pity, Agent Scully."

"Really Agent Mulder? Why am I here then, Agent Fox Mulder?"

"I'm not sure, Agent Dana Scully. Just not sure." I had looked into her eyes again then. deeper this time. I could feel my body growing warmer, and I smiled. I had wanted her then.

"Um, Mulder?"

"Scully?"

And then there was Bambi. My head hurts from all this thinking.

_"Tell me something that's sure to break my heart._  
_Cause everything's my fault._  
_And I know, that it's good to be alone_  
_Cause everything's my fault." _

And I need to find Scully.

I sit with my head propped up on one palm and poured drinks with the other hand. I'm tired and I want to go home, I decide. I let the words of the song sink into me and clear my mind, I try not to think of my partner too much as I pour the drinks, but it proves harder than I had thought it would be.

"Fine" I say to myself. "If Scully doesn't want me to find her, then I won't look for her." I pause. "It' not like she's running away from her partner who has gone through all sorts of scary shit with her or anything. Or who she owes her life to a few times over, or hey, even the partner she left at the school dance, nooo." I decide to just give up for good and head to the punch table when something amazing happens, I find Scully. I smile and walk over to her. She's obviously not paying attention, and I feel amazingly awkward.

_"Tell me something that's sure to break my heart_  
_Cause everything's my fault. _  
_And I know,_  
_I should be alone_  
_Cause everything's my fault. _  
_Everything's my fault_  
_Everything's my fault _  
_Everything's my fault."_

The song ends and I find myself particularly excited to see that specific song gone. As the next one begins I try my luck. "Please Scully, don't kill me." I think to myself.

"Red wine." I ask, holding out my cup the most beautiful woman I see at the table. Scully glances up to stare at the cup. I assume she notices that my hand is not that of a twelve year old. She smiles weakly and says,

"I'm sorry sir, we don't have that here. Some Juicy Juice perhaps?"

_"Here I am so alone_  
_And there's nothing in this world I can do_  
_Until your back here baby, yeah_  
_I miss you-_  
_Want you-_  
_Need you so-"_

"Okay then." I say nervously. This better work. "Do you have anything bigger? I'm going to need something really strong."

She looks up to my eyes with one swift movement. "Why is that?" She asks raising an eyebrow in my direction. No Scully, don't do that, don't put up your defenses - don't.

"You know, if they were ever to make a Dana Scully Barbie she would have to have an automatic eyebrow lifting device hidden somewhere. Where do you think that would be?" I shrug my eyebrows at her and smile.

"They won't be making Dana Scully Barbies any time soon anyway, Mulder."

"That's only your opinion."

_"Until your back here baby, yeah_  
_There's a feeling inside I want you to know_  
_That you are the one and I cant let you go"_

"Who's opinion counts, Mulder?" I ask.

"No one's but our own."

I can't help but smile at him. "Oh that's okay Mulder. The device would be hidden in her matching Mulder anyway."

_"So I told you lies_  
_Even made you cry_  
_Baby I was so wrong_  
_Girl I promise you_  
_Now my love is true_  
_This is where my heart belongs"_

"So why do you need that big drink anyway, Mulder?" I ask him quietly hoping the children won't hear us.

"Well," He says nervously, "I met this woman tonight."

"Did you?"

"Yes," he nods, "but then I sort of caused a few problems and she walked out on me."

"She walked out on you?" I ask, sounding shocked. "I can't imagine anyone ever walking out on you, Mulder."

He shrugs innocently, "neither can I, but she did."

"Is that why you need that big drink?" I ask.

"Not quite Scully, but really you need to listen to the whole story."

"Do I?"

"Yes, so be quiet for a minute." He coughs. "Okay, so anyway once I messed up with this beautiful woman and everything-"

"You didn't say she was beautiful." I say, my eyes widening.

"Did I miss that?" He shrugs again and smiles, pulling up the folding chair next to me. "There are a lot of qualities that I admire about her, and I guess sometimes I miss some here and there. weren't you going to be quiet?"

"Oh, sorry." I apologize.

"That's okay, you go ahead and be sorry." He looks up at me. "I may need a favor from you if you like my story." I'm silent. I couldn't speak now if he asked me to. He goes on. "So I was thinking about all the times when this woman says things I don't quite get, which isn't unusual about most of the things she says anyway, but moving on. I was thinking about these things and a few of them began to fit together."

He raises an eyebrow in my direction again and I can feel my face growing warmer. He takes his hands in mine and plays with my palms as he continues talking. "Anyway, I discovered how stupid I am after that, but I also discovered something else."

"What was that?" I gasp. He puts his finger to my lips and says,

"Sshh, not talking remember?" He drops his hand and continues. "What I discovered was that I couldn't stop thinking about this woman I had met, and no matter what else I tried to think about, or when I tried to be mad at her and such, it didn't work."

"What did you do then?" slips out.

"Scully-"

"I'll be quiet, go on."

"If you insist. Anyway, the harder I tried not to think about this woman, the more I thought about her. All sorts of different thought provoking aspects of her." He shrugged his eyebrows at me again and went on. "Then once I realized that I was in love with this woman-"

"You were in love with her?" I ask, my heart pounding in my ears. He looks at me as if I am the crazy one.

"Naturally." He said, "And I still will be if she can learn to be quieter when I ask her to." He stops and smiles, "Moving on, because she had walked on me, I was rather worried about what she would say-or do to me." He pauses. "You see, she also packs a very hard punch as well as a gun, this girl does, and I was very worried about the possibility of her not feeling the same way. After all, Dana Scully is not usually very open about her feelings with me and well-" He paused. "Let me think, I can't seem to find my train of thought. There it is. so in a large nutshell, that is why I needed the large drink, see now?" When Mulder finishes I can't think of a thing to say.

"Me?" Is all I can manage.

"Well, yeah, I guess so, Scully." He smiles, "Way to state the obvious."

"I don't think you'll be needing that drink, Mulder." I say.

"Well that's a relief then." He smiles at me desperately and squeezes my hands tightly. All I can think is "Mulder? Mulder loves me? How?" Then I look up and his eyes are looking straight into mine. He stands up, still looking into me.

"Would you like do dance?" He asks softly. I nod, and we move away from the chairs slowly.

_When I think I'm falling your love is strong for me._  
_I live for you_  
_I'm never looking back to what I used to be _  
_I live for you_  
_Your everything I every sought plus more _

As Mulder slowly reaches around me I feel an electric chill ignite through my body. I can tell that he's afraid of what might happen if we get too close. He reaches up with one hand and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear, and we just stand like that, swaying to the music. Our eyes still locked on each other. His arms slowly pull around my lower waist and I sigh as I place my hands on his shoulders and lean my head in his chest.

_Every thing I ever thought was mine,_  
_I'd give it all away to have you in my life._  
_I know its gonna take a sacrifice_  
_I want to see the world through your eyes._  
_I live for you for the rest of my life"_

Mulder leans down above me and says, "hey Scully, does this mean I have to call you Dana?"

"This doesn't mean anything unless you want it to, Mulder."

"Then I'm not sure what it means."

"That's okay Mulder, you don't have to be." And we stood wrapped in silence until the music ended.

"Hey Scully." Mulder asks suddenly.

"Yes Mulder?"

"What happens when I marry you?"

"Aren't we being a bit presumptuous?" I retract.

"Okay then. When, if I marry you. Are we Mulder and Mulder?"

I laugh at his joke, "No Mulder, I think we're Mully and Sculder then."

"Oh," he sighs and moves his arms upward to hug me. "Hey Scully?"

"Yes Mulder?"

"About that favor," He pulls himself away far enough so that he can see my face. "Would you mind doing it now?"

"What's the favor?" I ask, and Mulder pulls me away to show me, holding my hand.

"Hey Bernard." Mulder says to the small boy I still can't place as we approach at the bench. "This is my friend Dana Scully, she'd like to meet you." The little boy smiles at me through his thick glasses and smooths his pants.

"Is she the one who calls you Mulder?" The boy asks.

Mulder laughs, "Yeah she is." Mulder drops my hand and falls down on his knees at my side to whisper to the boy. "Introduce yourself, Bernard" He whispers. The boy nods vigorously and when Mulder stands, so does the boy. He's about shoulder height on me and he takes my hand.

He lays a small kiss on the palm of my hand and says, "Hello Miss Scully. My name is Bernard Mulder Jet-Powered Kuffleburd. He smiles again. "Would you like to dance?"

I can't help but let out a small laugh as I repond. "I would like to very much Bernard Mulder Jet- Powered Kuffleburd."

"Oh it's okay," He says, "All my friends call me Jet. You can too."

And I dance with Bernard for the last twenty minutes of the dance.

Mulder opens the car door for me again as we leave, and I wave goodbye to Bernard as he walks out of the gym toward home. Mulder shuts the door and sits motionless.

"Scully." He finally asks, "What did tonight mean?"

"What do you want to mean, Mulder?"

"That you know."

"And I do." I say. "Is that all you want?"

He sighs, "For tonight, I think so. I'm tired tonight. He pauses. "I want you to make me a real boy, Scully. You're my conscience. And a good conscience is equal to about ten thousand Bambi's."

"Always, Mulder."

He smiles and I remind him to fasten his seatbelt before he starts the car.


End file.
